Reassurance

Things are creeping along ever so slowly in this FET cycle.  I have my baseline E2 blood test tomorrow and then start the E2V IM shots on Friday.  This will be my 5th transfer but only my second FET.  It's so odd to be in cycle but have it be so low key.

For me this is what my dear friend Amanda calls "the kitchen sink" transfer.  I'm throwing everything I've got at this.  I've been going to acupuncture (even though I hate it), I'm taking the thyroid meds, and I gave up alcohol and caffeine and have been eating clean (pretty strictly) since the beginning of February.  My motto for this cycle is basically if it can't hurt and there's a chance it could help - Go For It.  That being said I wanted to get your thoughts and opinions on some of the old wives tales we hear related to transfer, implantation, etc.  I decided that with the "kitchen sink" transfer maybe I'd do some research into some of these.  I think the most common one we've all heard is the pineapple core after transfer.  I know "they" say it's supposed to help with implantation but I never knew why.  Turns out pineapple, especially the core, contains bromelain which is known to reduce inflammation in the body, including the uterus, and is also a mild blood thinner.  Both of which can be helpful with implantation.  So sticking to my motto this seems like an easy win for me.

Next on the list is Omega 3 Fish Oil.  This supplement is said to help the "quality" of blood in the uterus?  Then there's L Arginine and Zinc.  All I could find on these is that they are supposed to prevent miscarriage and promote implantation.  My prescription prenatal vitamin already contains 15 mg of zinc so I think I'm covered there.   I am curious on if anyone has taken the L Arginine though.

The last one is the Brazil Nuts.  This is another one I had heard about but didn't know the reasoning behind.  Come to find out Brazil Nuts are a good source of Selenium which, once again, prevents miscarriages and promotes implantation.

I'm not naive enough to think that any of these things is the "missing link" to why I've yet to become pregnant and stay pregnant.  But I am curious on what, if any, of these you girls tried and your thoughts and feelings on them.

On a side note I got a very interesting call yesterday that left me with mixed emotions.  It was from CCRM.  You guys know that if this transfer doesn't work our back up plan is CCRM.  We've already sent all our records over and had a phone consult with Dr. Schoolcraft.  I've kept them up-to-date with what's happened the last 5 months (hysteroscopy, Lupron Depot injections, FET scheduled for March).  But I haven't had any communication with them since probably late November.  I got a call yesterday from a Denver phone number and when I answered the phone a wonderful nurse by the name of Katherine was on the other line (any CCRM girls know her?!).  She simply stated they were reaching out because they had it in my file that I was getting ready for my FET and they wanted to wish us luck and see if we had any questions they could help with.  She told me that she hopes not to hear from me but that they are there if we need them.  I was pretty impressed and the call definitely made me feel like more than just a number to them.  And while it felt very reassuring to know that we have a great plan in place and are ready to move forward right away if need be, it also made me second guess my certainty about the potential success of this upcoming cycle.  I've been working so hard at being positive and truly believing that this is going to work.  I'm not sure how much I really believe in the power of positive thinking, but once again, it can't hurt.  And receiving that very nice phone call had me questioning if that was God's way of preparing me for another failure.  Obviously I'm probably reading WAY too far into things and should just stick with the initial feelings of reassurance from the phone call.  But you girls know better than anyone what a cluster f*ck your mind becomes with all the hormones, emotions, hope, and fears.

So that's where I'm at.  I feel like this post was a jumbled up mess but since that's kind of how I'm feeling I guess it's fitting.

Cautiously Optimistic

I feel like this has been my mantra for this entire cycle.  Today I had beta number 3 and it came back at 177.  Which means it didn't quite quadruple in the 4 days (it actually tripled) but my doubling time is 59 hours which falls in the "normal" range of 31-72 hours.  My doctor said that he believes we may have had 2 implant, which is why we saw the big jump between beta 1 and 2, but only one is still growing.  Which is more than fine by us.  We are so grateful for that little one that is hanging on!

I asked if we need to set up a 4th beta since it didn't quadruple but Dr. H said that wasn't necessary and we'd just go ahead and schedule the ultrasound.  He said he was comfortable with the increase and felt everything was progressing as it should be.  So we scheduled our first ultrasound for March 14th.  Which means I have to wait 2 weeks and 3 days before I get confirmation that everything is in fact going okay.  That.  Feels.  Like.  Forever.  But it is what it is.  So for now I am feeling cautiously optimistic.

At the ultrasound I'll technically be 7 weeks and 1 day, but since we seem to have a late implanter I'm not sure what that does to the timeline.  I'm assuming I'm be measuring a few days behind.  Which also makes things fuzzy on if we'll be able to see the heartbeat.  I just am praying so hard that this little one continues to grow and develop.

So while on one hand I am extremely grateful for the increase and that it falls into the "normal" range I definitely would be less worried and breathing easier if the number would have quadrupled.  Which leads me back to the title of this post.....cautiously optimistic.  

Thank you all so much for your prayers and support.  I believe that God is hearing us and is answering.  You are all helping to keep me sane through this process.  Here's to hoping these next 2 weeks go FAST.