Wednesday, February 5, 2014

IVF #2 Trigger

I had my second ultrasound yesterday and the majority of my follicles were measuring 17mm so I got the all clear to trigger last night.  We did the HCG shot at 10:30pm and retrieval will be tomorrow at 9am.  I am ready to get things moving.

I wish I could put in to words how I"m feeling this time compared to last.  Some of it is much the same and some of it is completely different.  I am definitely feeling hopeful and excited but in a different way than the first time.  This time I know what we are up against and while the more aggressive protocol seems to have improved our results so far, I also know now that I won't rest easy until we get the fertilization report.  There's just so much that can go wrong happen between retrieval and transfer.  And even if by some miracle we happen to get a BFP I've had 2 blog friends just this week who's 2nd Beta came back lower and they experienced chemical pregnancies.  I know we all talk about this a lot but infertility seems to completely rob you of the joy and bliss that SHOULD come with pregnancy.  Because we know so much it seems impossible to shake the worry and fear.  So this time I am really trying to focus on taking one day at a time.

My mom recently sent me this amazing gift and I've been wearing it since starting STIM drugs.


The one thing I did learn from our first failure with IVF is that I'm stronger than I thought.  I survived the disappointment and loss and we picked ourselves up and tried again.  And I will do that again if I have to.  Not to say that I won't be devastated and heartbroken because I will.  But I also know deep in my heart that I am MEANT to be a mother.  And I'm not ready to give up yet.

So for now I'll hope and pray for a successful retrieval of LOTS of healthy mature eggs.  I will be strong for myself and for D.  I will be positive and believe that this will work for us.  And I'll look forward to our future and not behind at our loss.  And regardless of the outcome I will go on.


10 comments:

  1. Excited for you and very hopeful that this will be the one that works! Waiting for great news from your retrieval!

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    1. Thanks I'm trying to focus on staying positive - I know you understand how challenging that can be.

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  2. What a beautiful necklace!! Wishing you the very best at retrieval!!

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    1. Thanks - I love the necklace too. What a comfort :) Ready for what tomorrow brings. At least I hope I am!

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  3. I will be praying for you!! And that necklace is amazing.

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    1. I appreciate the prayers and support SO much!

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  4. Sending you LOTS of prayers and positive thoughts. You have come so far and only good things can happen from here! Xo

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    1. Thanks for the kind words and positivity Meg! Your story is one of the many that gives me hope. :) I apprecaite the support!

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  5. I am excited for you and very hopeful everything will go as expected! I love the necklace your mom sent you! It is so thoughtful and sweet!

    "Blessed is she who believed the Lord would fulfill His promise to her." Luke 1:45

    Hold onto that verse :) It has been my lifeline. hugs!

    waitingforbabybird.com

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  6. I love it and will repeat it over and over again the next couple weeks. Thank you so much for your prayers and support!

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