To test or not to test.......

Okay, so the Crazy Train is off the rails today.  I am literally sick to my stomach with anxiety and worry over my first Beta tomorrow.  I have really started to feel like maybe I should just take a test so I can be prepared.  I think I've told you guys before that my clinic typically doesn't give results until after the 2nd Beta which for me would be on Friday.  But since me and Nurse Jenny are long lost best friends she said she would call me with the results of my first one tomorrow.  So I'm sure I'll be at work when I get that phone call.  D does not want us to test at home because the clinic told us that HPT's aren't always accurate.  So for him it's just cut and dry - we wait.  But it's completely driving me insane.

Help! Did you all test at home before your Betas?  I'm 9dp3dt today.  I think from what I've read your beta has to be 40 for a regular test to detect it and 25 for a FRT?  Is that right?

All Aboard!

Well we are 8dp3dt.  So I made it a couple days longer than last cycle before I chased down the Crazy Train and jumped on.  Yesterday I woke up and my OHSS was significantly better.  This morning I'm down 4 of the almost 7 lbs I gained.  So great news right?  WRONG.  I'm now convinced that since my symptoms have improved none of the embryos implanted and this cycle is another failure.  Technically I think I could start testing from home today and get a postivie result (if there was one to see).  So of course I'm fighting that battle as well.  I really want to wait for my Beta but then on the other hand I know I'll be getting the call at work and it's not like I really need to have another emotional breakdown in the office.  I've done such a good job of staying postive this cycle and I really was convinced it worked.  Now my feelings have completey flip flopped.  The 2ww is seriously one of the most awful forms of torture a woman can go through.

I really don't have any symptoms.  My boobs are a little sore but nothing major.  I'm still have some very mild cramping or "pulling" sensensation.  Sometimes I think I am feeling like I'm going to start my period.  Oh I did notice a teeny tiny amount of spotting on Day 5 after 3 day transfer which *should* have been when the embryos were implanting.  However if I wasn't a crazy toliet paper nazi I wouldn't have even noticed since it was so barely visable.

Really that is about all.  I have been super tired lately because I've been battling a cold but last night I stayed up until almost 10pm so I can't even say that might be a symptom.  So I guess I'll just be riding around in circles on this train until I get my beta results.  I'm still not letting myself think ahead to what happens if this cycle fails.  I'm trying desperately to hold on to some of the positivity I've been feeling up until now which is difficlut when the train is speeding down the tracks out of control.

Too Much Time To Think

Today is 3dp3dt (3 days past 3 day transfer).  Only.  Three.  Days.  Sigh.  I am basically feeling back to normal.  The bloating is almost gone as is the cramping from the retrieval and transfer.  It makes me nervous to feel "normal" since it's been so long since I've felt that way.  But then I'm sure for the next two weeks everything is going to make me nervous.  Today I hope our sweet little embryo has made it to blast and is hopefully starting to hatch out of it's shell to prepare to implant on days 4-6.  I found this chart online and it helps me to know what *should* be happening each day.  This is perfectly in line with my clinic as they have my 1st Beta set for Dec. 26th which would be 11 days past transfer.  But then I have to wait until Dec. 30th for my 2nd Beta because of the weekend :(   Here's the kicker.  It's my clinic's policy that they don't call you with the 1st Beta results.  I haven't read of anyone that has the same policy.  Logically I know it's because they consider any level of HCG above a 5 pregnant but in order for it to be viable the numbers need to double (or in my case quadruple since it's 4 days in between).  I had originally promised myself I wouldn't test at home.  But now I just can't see how I'll be able to wait that long.  I'd like your thoughts and advice if you have any!

3-Day Transfer

Days Past Transfer (DPT)	Embryo Development
One	The embryo continues to grow and develop, turning from a 6-8 cell embryo into a morula
Two	The cells of the morula continue to divide, developing into a blastocyst
Three	The blastocyst begins to hatch out of its shell
Four	The blastocyst continues to hatch out of its shell and begins to attach itself to the uterus
Five	The blastocyst attaches deeper into the uterine lining, beginning implantation
Six	Implantation continues
Seven	Implantation is complete, cells that will eventually become the placenta and fetus have begun to develop
Eight	Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) starts to enter the blood stream
Nine	Fetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted
Ten	Fetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted
Eleven	Levels of hCG are now high enough to detect a pregnancy